Ebark on your journey.
Growing up, it seems to me “that nasty attitude” was & still is way too common. It’s glorified. Who made this ok? Or even “pretending” to have an attitude, to eventually blurt out “you know I’m kidding.” Why even carry on in that way? When actually did this become a habit? This toxic behavior that has obviously been accepted, leaves me to believe it started in the home…
To talk down, but be “kidding”. Even the audacity one may have to say whatever they desire, no matter the impact, to whomever; and think it’s OK. Who the hell are you? SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. The tongue is powerful. Being disrespectful has been normalized, and dressed up like fashion from those who lack intellect. Playing is one thing, playing way too often is another. Having a “fake” nasty disposition was never cute. If you are on that type of time, fine. Live like that, this isn’t for you.
It’s the personal experiences one goes through that enlighten them. Unfortunately, someone’s death, near death, drugs, etc. are some of the dark things that can bring luminosity to the soul. It’s like a wake-up call.
Once upon a time,
I was vein. I only cared about my looks, your looks, the quality for it all, healthy hair, healthy nails, etc. And that’s not bad, but I shunned the opposite. That’s where I can say now, a wake-up call was needed. I became a very nasty individual. Rude, even more so than the norm that is/was accepted at “home”. It wasn’t corrected, and I take full responsibility. I hold myself accountable for knowing the difference, but not enough to make the change sooner.
During one of my most learning experiences, I worked at Trader Joe’s. The lack of empathy this company had will be held for a different article. Living in Jersey commuting to the city for a 7 am or 8 am clock in, 5 days a week wasn’t the issue. The issue was the air quality. The issue is, the store has no windows. Another issue, the store is underground; that means the basement. What are the problems usually found in basements you ask? Humidity, mold, etc. All things that can affect one’s immune system over time.
“I lost my face”
was the initial feeling. My face all of a sudden became swollen, I resembled a pufferfish. To me, I became UGLY. I lost my money maker, I lost my thing. It took me some time to realize I was blessed. Blessed to be created with so many more things to offer other than my looks. I’m way too talented, been. reroute! I insisted on educating myself, I watched different podcasts. I made it my business to enlighten myself & chose a holistic approach. ( Holistic is characterized by the treatment of the whole person, taking into account mental and social factors, rather than just the symptoms of a disease.) I reintroduced myself to MY Lord because actually, I grew up in a church. Therefore I have some form of foundation. I returned to him, so forgiving he is.
That sums up one of my most traumatizing/ humbling experiences. I’ve had a few, as we all do. However, this one has struck me the hardest. I’m thankful and wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else’s. Through any dark circumstance, everyone has the potential to be luminous. I’m happy for who I am, and the direction I’ve gone thus far.
Quote of The Auracle “Don’t gain the world and lose your soul. Wisdom is better than silver and gold.”
— Zion Train, from the album Uprising (1980)
-MJ
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“While You Sleep” Children’s ebook by my daughter & I.
Check Out “Answer Me Please”