5 tactics used to control the situation
Maybe at some point, we grow out of such childish/immature ways. Manipulating others or simply yearning to be in control during every conversation/moment seems more so exhausting than anything else. I tend to speak of key factors. These tactics say a lot about one’s upbringing (types of behavior that were allowed and wasn’t). It’s already a task to successfully control ourselves and our emotions, let alone those of another individual. Well, those mind games they tend to play — I’ve caught on to a thing or 4.
Satire
a way of using humor to show that someone or something is foolish, weak, bad, etc.
A.K.A good ole sarcasm, by far one of the most insulting ways of communication. Not only can it be condescending but can be a test of your intelligence, to say the least. Joking is cool, fun is great too, but downplaying someone’s intellect is not. The sarcasm here and there is fine, I mean isn’t everything okay in moderation? But for this to be your agenda or even your character, I’d say “STAY AWAY”. I will not make time to ponder and ultimately think one thing when perhaps you’re speaking of something completely different. I want no parts of this personal gain of yours. Simply, say what you mean, and mean what you say; no need for theatrics.
Important elements of spoken sarcasm include intonation, or how you vary the pitch of your voice, and stress, or how you emphasize certain words.
Reverse psychology
A method of trying to make someone do what you want by asking them to do the opposite and expecting them to disagree with you
I’d like to characterize reverse psychology as simply asking questions around the main question you’re trying to avoid asking. It must be to either gather information and assume or for the questionee to carelessly/timidly give up information. In some aspects, it can portray one as conniving. People with secret agendas and/or motives tend to rely on this tactic along with many others.
I’ve grown to learn that nothing gets you what you want more than directly asking for it. The worst that can be said is no, or anything but an appropriate response (like sarcasm or a veiled answer). In this case, I am no detective! I cannot and will not waste time with one who cannot be open and honest with me let alone themselves; in any situation under any circumstance.
In a toxic environment, one would use the technique coined as strategic self anti-conformity and ultimately anger themselves by doing so. By asking indirect questions and then gaining new information, it may not suit you well. This can lead to an ongoing dispute only stimulating/worsening the problem.
JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!
Veiled Question
A veiled comment is expressed in a disguised form rather than directly and openly.
As I do more research, veiled questioning and reverse psychology have a lot in common. Both underestimating of one’s intellect, and the secret agenda of the questioner is now known to exist. What information are you so immensely in need of that you cannot…ask?
This way of communication is implied and not at all direct. It can leave you wondering what the correct way to respond could be. You may only be focused on what wasn’t said and it may have spoken volumes to you. Back to theatrics, at least let me willingly want to be a part of your act.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!
Victim Complex
Broadly speaking, a person with a victim complex believes that bad things are inevitable and will keep happening to them; outside factors and circumstances are to be blamed; nothing they do will bring about a change, or make any difference to anybody’s life, so there is no point trying.: causing guilt
There are many situations where playing victim in any relationship can easily help damage the bond. Personally, playing the victim is playing dumb. It’s acting oblivious to facts whilst thinking everything is directed towards you or even attacking you.
As a victim, you do not have to take accountability for your actions, your wrongdoings are justified — So why not? It’s the easy way out if you ask me.
You simply have no control…that’s why not.
However, by putting the responsibility on others, they sacrifice their own control and ability to act. They rely on others for their self-worth.
Name Calling
I will not jazz this one up, name-calling is flat-out bullying in laymen’s terms. Some have no limit, and this is a part of there oh so unique personalities. I will not exclude myself, as I’ve indulged in this negative energy when pushed to a limit; I should never be pushed to it! Sadly, it’s “no thang” when we do it, but when others do it to us, it’s end-all. From trivial sayings like “I know you’re not dumb” or more detrimental like “man-up, you’re acting like a bitch”. Notice both sayings are aimed directly at that person using words like “you’re”. How could someone not take offense? So this is me being fed up.
From either party, IT’S NOT RIGHT, morally, ethically, or emotionally.
Name-calling is abusive, derogatory language, or insults. It is a form of relational bullying. Sadly, this behavior is common among kids. Name-calling, which is sometimes dismissed as teasing or ribbing, is often present in sibling bullying.
Common among KIDS. Did you read that part?
From my observation, people resort to name-calling for many reasons. When their point is not getting across, simply lost for words, or even to one-up you. Not everyone knows that in reality, this is a cry for help. Some people aren’t as strong as others. Some dwell…and dwell…until they feel it is true.
While taking a psychology course I learned people tend to naturally act the name that is given. Ergo, whether on a journey to change or not, you may have been a mean person, and if you are reminded of it by others; social science says you will be even meaner. That is if the mental strength isn’t present.
Learning to encourage better behavior by changing the insulting ways of name-calling, can be all the change that is required to help this person in any way. Why be the reason that man feels like a “female”?
BONUS
Deflect
To turn (something) aside especially from a straight course or fixed direction
Just another way to play on my intelligence. So you’re aware that you made an error? That seems to me when people feel the need to switch the direction of a conversation. Deflecting, to avoid a situation because apparently, you know the outcome? I’m no expert nevertheless, common sense isn’t at all common. In a conversation, be in the moment and answer the question asked, or say you’re not. But don’t deflect, it can give off the opposite of what you are avoiding to say. In the case where that is exactly what you’re trying to say — Just say it!
check out my article “Answer Me”
It truly can drive me nuts when the question asked isn’t answered, or is veiled.
SAY WHAT YOU MEAN, AND MEAN WHAT YOU SAY!
In Closing
Everything is a process and nothing worth having comes easy. Yes, that goes for the way we act and what we do as well. It will all be worth it when we cut out all toxic and childish ways. I think it’ll be easier to manifest the things we truly desire out of life as we eliminate all negative ways. We cannot control others, so we simply set boundaries. Let us work on bettering ourselves for ourselves firstly, and for others secondly. We cannot be great while name-calling or playing mind games with anyone — That would be redundant.
-MMJ
Quote of the Auracle: “Be careful how you speak to people, you cannot choose how they respond.”
-Malaysia’Monét J
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“While You Sleep” Children’s ebook by my daughter & I.
Love your break down on manipulation and how to notice it. Sometimes it’s easy to be caught up in it that we don’t even notice we are being manipulated.