We can fail, NOT a FAILURE!
To have found, and stick to one thing that you love to do is a blessing. Which in fact, requires much discipline. Some find their purpose earlier than others, whereas the other half; just have the discipline to do something they enjoy at the moment. If that, whatever it is, it is a sense of accomplishment. Or maybe a thrill one gets whilst doing what they love. Why would you let anything or anyone interfere with that? Why would you let anyone disrupt your happy place?
Being in a toxic/unhealthy relationship or just being in one and being stagnant due to the support system, or lack thereof;
We cannot pick who we love, but we can pick who to stay with and what we tolerate. If it does not align, it is not right. When our goals are not in alignment with one another’s, chances are; it is not right. Now, we do not have to want to reach the same heights in life, but to serve as the same strengthened force at our own craft, would be ideal. Let alone to have a “craft” to work at.
To have energy working against, or in an opposite way; how can you two progress? If every day you study to pass the bar exam, on time to every class, how can you succeed alongside one who is comfortable being a crew member at a supermarket, and misses every deadline for everything important? How can that possibly work? Where did you two meet to kick it off? When the happy phase of the relationship settles down and reality storms in; you notice one is not taking life quite as seriously as you are. The motivation to want to study, to put yourself in a space to learn; has diminished. Without the proper support system, “I can do it next year”, becomes the norm. That is, because one may want to work on the relationship at hand.
Do you find it okay to put your dreams and goals on hold? For the sake of another being? To “get things back on track”?
Having a baby and putting Goals on hold;
The way of thinking having a baby will keep a man, WRONG; it will potentially make the situation a lot worse. That is if it was “not right” prior to the baby. One study found that just 2.5% of people are able to multitask effectively. For the rest of us, our attempts to do multiple activities at once aren’t actually that. Mar 10, 2021.
Now, imagine being in an unhealthy/toxic relationship, and having had a baby, whilst still having goals to accomplish. Goals in which will ultimately feed your family! Trying to juggle those mentioned, when the foundation is not healthy/mature; will not list as an easy task. So what do most do? Quit the one that isn’t serving them at that moment; that is the goal. Putting it on the “back-burner” until….NEVER; is the common thing.
We all have goals, but too many “had to feed our kids” or was unhappy in a relationship and incapable to manage someone there (your partner) and something that is not there (fruits from your craft); with a baby. Ultimately turning into a lose-lose. Why do you ask? Because now you are barely receiving child support and you are several steps behind in YOUR purpose/work. All due to taking off, to heal a relationship that was never going to work. Oh, while being a half-ass parent; because no one can raise a happy baby in an unhappy home!
Hiatus while partner IS working on the goal;
It is in fact slightly a different scenario, when one of the two is working on the goal through all trials and tribulations of the dynamic. When the kind of drive to ensure the family is fed, is crystal clear. Making all the “healthy arguments” you two may have is worth it. Building something to keep yourself and the family afloat. I am sure those are some of the many benefits of persevering, and never forgetting the goal. And just in case the other partner does in fact have to take a hiatus; guess what? It is ok. Because your partner hasn’t forgotten the mission, and everyone still eats!
Hiatus and neither one of u are doing anything;
Now baby or not, to be laid up with another and you two are doing absolutely nothing to ensure the security of the future; is INSANE. Ok, with a baby, YES it is worse; and does in fact speak volumes about the individual. To be in a partnership where nothing is expected from the other as far as greatness, growth, etc. “it is not right”. Everyone needs to be with someone who pushes them to be great at what they do or something new, every day. Or even pushed to be a better version of yourself, along with yourself; because you already minister that. Always push your partner to be a greater person. Now if they do not want that push, that is not the one for you.
PERIOD BLANK.
If they do not push you, he/she/they are not the one. Two lost souls can find their way together, yes I believe this is true. IF, and only if, wherever they are going in life, aligns. And they have the willpower to take it there.
P.S
Some people find themselves to be better parents out of the relationship, due to whatever toxic trauma they may have. DING DING (bells) has been about the baby since its debut. The maturity in a person will put all trivial mess on the “back-burner” and get to the wealth (goals), and ensure the baby is in a happy environment 360*. Not only when the two of you are in an “ok” mood. THAT IS NOT OK!
Moral of the story?
Mind as well continue!
GET OUT THOSE FEELINGS!
Be successful with or without!
Go feed your family with or without!
Get shit done regardless of who you’re with!
If it is that serious, LEAVE.
GO BE GREAT.
-Malaysia’Monét J.
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