That was rather fast
New Year new me? 28 days until the New Year, and I’m here; the same ole me. No growth and I have not changed in any evident way. My kids are out of control and I am physically and mentally drained. Raising my twins who are now 6yo has caused me to take on the additional role of a father because the lack thereof. To be loving and stern, soft but hard; is like on and off and It’s driving my bill through the roof! I feel like I cannot manage. Many times I felt the need to change my name due to the constant “mommy” calling, for things I only wish dad was here to help with; it is not easy at all. He’s not in jail, he’s not dead, he is just not here, and I’m exhausted. He knows where we reside and I have lost all energy trying to reach out to only be blocked and ignored. Honestly speaking, I don’t know what went wrong, or is it really something so severe to cause such detriment to our kids.
Writing this angers me but it also gives me fuel. The fuel I know I need to persevere and make it all work out for my kids and me. We all have those downward spiraling moments and I am happy I have writing as a form of release. I am ready to take on the world and fill out some new job applications
……Thank you for your interest, but we will be moving forward with more qualifying candidates.
I was rejected…
I then link up with old me right at the bottom of that same downward spiral.
19 days until the New Year, and I’m here; the same ole me.
H_E_L_P_L_E_S_S
NEW YEAR NEW ME?
-Malaysia’Monét J
Quote of the Auracle: “If you believe it then you can conceive it.”
-Pharell Williams
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Check Out “To Who They Are Bored”